Relationship advice when is enough enough

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Relationships can be tricky. One moment you can be on the highest euphoria cloud, and the next second it can feel like you're alone in the relationship. However, when you're in a relationship and questioning staying, there are some key things to consider before calling it quits. Does this person add value to your life? How long have you been together? Have you been through hard times and made it out together? These types of things will factor into your decision.

In this article, you'll learn what you should consider before breaking up with your current partner. It also provides some questions you should ask yourself during the decision-making process and urges you to reflect on how your actions may have affected the relationship. Additionally, you'll learn what makes a relationship worth saving and ways to rekindle the spark that once was.

Before you decide to end your relationship completely, it's a good idea to take a step back to reflect on what's working and what is hindering the relationship. Here are some questions to ask yourself that will help determine if you're going to stay on the boat or swim to shore.

You and your partner need to be able to honestly answer these questions separately. Though relationships are about being a pair, true fulfillment and happiness start with oneself.

Therefore, taking a look at your own actions and facing your contribution to the relationship will help you both get closer to a final decision. All too often, it's easy to point the finger at anyone but yourself, especially in relationships. However, if you think the relationship is headed to destruction, you'll need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your partner.

If you both believe the relationship is worth saving, then you'll equally put in the work. Communication is the foundation of every relationship in life; this is where the real work comes into play.

Start by asking each other the following questions:. And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden. However, your partner is not a mind-reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid any confusion.

Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. So instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, get in the habit of telling them exactly what you need. For example, one person might find a hug after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to take a walk together or sit and chat. When you experience positive emotional cues from your partner, you feel loved and happy, and when you send positive emotional cues, your partner feels the same.

While a great deal of emphasis in our society is put on talking, if you can learn to listen in a way that makes another person feel valued and understood, you can build a deeper, stronger connection between you. But it will help you find common points of view that can help you to resolve conflict. How often have you been stressed and flown off the handle at your loved one and said or done something you later regretted? Touch is a fundamental part of human existence.

Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate contact for brain development. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.

As with so many other aspects of a healthy relationship, this can come down to how well you communicate your needs and intentions with your partner. Healthy relationships are built on compromise.

Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs will only build resentment and anger. If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while younger, or it could be years of accumulated resentment in the relationship reaching a boiling point.

Be respectful of the other person and their viewpoint. The goal is not to win but to maintain and strengthen the relationship. Make sure you are fighting fair. Keep the focus on the issue at hand and respect the other person. Rather than looking to past conflicts or grudges and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem. Be willing to forgive. If tempers flare, take a break. Know when to let something go.

It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member.

Other events, like job loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children.

Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstandings can rapidly turn to frustration and anger. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress , it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at them. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship.

Find other healthier ways to manage your stress, anger, and frustration. Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in their own way.

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